SANOM CITY -- A highly contagious Pox virus, believed to have originated from rats and orcs, has run its course with minimal causualties. Healers and doctors are now calling the virus "under control." Control was hardly the situation in past months, however, as people one by one have found themselves uncontrollably itching and distracted from their daily lives. Those who were afflicted found quick relief by visiting doctor's clinics and having "checkups". Those who found it not worth the 50+ coins, well, continued to suffer. New visitors to Sanom City are requested to get a "checkup" before wandering south to the Zoo, where some isolated cases are still known to exist. While the checkup doesn't guarantee immunity to the virus, it will make treatment (via a second "checkup") easier and less time consuming. The recent Pox virus is further proof of the need for everyone to get regular checkups to maintain their health. --Ardea Brightfoot reporting.
There is a dangerous scourge hiding in sanom city. or rather below sanom city. The sewers are infested with enormous rats alone they may be simply a nuisance, but they are organizing They must have some leader. A gang of six surrounded me and attacked me They swarmed me and as soon as i killed one two more took their place. they parted and a rat bigger then an rotweiler came up and the other rats formed a circle while if ought him. I was about to defeat them when hundreds of rats attacked me to save their leader. I was surely headed to oblivion had i not escaped into the spirit winds and wafted to the endoplasmatorium to regenerate. These rats must be cleared out before another falls to their wrath Kamhal Kente, son of Drakhal Kente by Irini Kente
Yesterday, a group riding upon a roc committed a horrendous crime. They gunned down, and killed a Grmkel in the streets of Sanom City. The Grmkel was making her way to the armoury, in order to obtain some protection from the violence that invariable occurs when in the wilderness. Being a complete mystery, there was no record in the crime logs, and two witnesses stepped forward, but wish to remain anonymous in order to save retribution from the group A Knight was there on the scene. "The roc came in from above, swooped down on the Grmkel, and it was so quick, I couldn't react in time. Vulcan, forgive me for not saving that maiden. As I said, the swooped down, and showered the Grmkel with water, from gourds it looked like. A Mephit, and a Draconian were riding upon the roc. There was a triton here as well, who grabbed the roc, before the gunners turned upon him as well. He then let go, and the roc flew away. I tried to chase them, but I cannot fly." The Grmkel lay there, soaking wet, while the Knight tried to dry her off, but was unable to stop the lethal dose of water from saturating the body. The Triton was stated to have said. "I was there when the swooped down on us. I thought they were after me, a great big bird from the skies. They squirted that poor Grmkel, so I grappled with the roc. They turned their gourds on me, probably in a reaction, as being a Triton, water does not worry me. My reactions kicked in after that, and I let go. I failed the Grmkel, and I feel sorry for her." The Roc was reported to be 7ft tall, large and robust, reasonably strong, and it moved with inhuman grace. The Mephit was short, about 5'4", weakly. They thought the Mephit was a he, and was brandishing a trident, as they left. He the Draconian, a male as well, was 8ft tall, robust, and extraordinarily strong. They are advised to be dangerous, and not to be approached by anyone, unless they want to be killed.
Killer Still at Large SANOM CITY- A citizen of Sanom City--an Arachean who wishes to remain unnamed to protect her safety--was doing business with the local Trading Post when the first attack occured. Without provocation, without so much as speaking a word, a Triton by the name of Korlat swept into the Trading Post and attacked. "He was quiet, and quite efficient," the victim recounts, "Killed me, looted my corpse, and left." The victim was apparently shaken up while recalling the attack which occured about a week ago. "He had tentacles that grabbed me and before I knew what hit me I was...floating above my body," the victim said with a shudder. "It happened so fast. I was totally unprepared." After the initial attack, the victim "made for the Endo." But just as the victim left the Endoplasmatorium with a new body and a new shot at life, the perpetrator was waiting just outside. "Just after leaving...he killed me again. He used the same MO: grab, kill, loot." City law enforcement has not, at the date of writing, released information as to whether or not this Korlat may be the same triton responsible for the fly-by attack months back which left a Grmkel saturated. Tritons, however, are understandably wary. "I have to hide in my home at night, for fear of getting lynched," said one Triton, also wishing anonymity. "People think that all of us are murderers. These yahoos are giving the rest of the Triton community a bad name." Perhaps most nervous of all, however, are the victims of these apparently random acts of violence. "I am very nervous about being here when he is," said the Arachean. Residence are asked to be on the alert, as the killer still has not been apprehended and is believed armed and dangerous.
SANOM CITY -- A rash of invasions has had citizens and visitors alike concerned for their safety. Whether it's lizardmen, goblins, or--most recently--pleisiasaurs, invaders just seem to find their way into the city entirely too easily. Guards have advised that residents who are not highly powerful DO NOT provoke invaders when they see them, for they often strike quickly and decisively, and then steal belongings[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D[D weapons, armour, and belongings from their bodies. Some residents, however, wonder if the City Guard is truly competent enough to defend the city against such a threat. One anonymous source has mentioned disgust at guards harrassing law-abiding folk instead of doing their job of service and protection. If you are confronted by an invading monster of any kind, keep yourself well protected and be prepared for a real fight. Ardea Brightfoot reporting.
Citizens of Sanom City. We are faced with a great peril. Evil is all about us and it wears many faces. Already, our streets are overflowing with demon-spawn, half dragons and spiders. They flood our streets, invade our homes, steal our goods, take our jobs and molest our women and children. These "new inhabitants" of Sanom City are nothing more than a plague. A plague of vermin and their ilk. Filthy and tainted and evil just by their very existence. We should rid ourselves of them in order to save ourselves and restore order and purity into our once great city. Not only are these creatures a plague on humanity. So are the many dark guilds which are seen about. Ke'ting, led by that oderous Lord Thunda. A guild which feeds upon the suffering wrought upon others. Javen, which is guided by that traitorous mind witch, Ningauble. Not only is this the darkest of magiks, but to have been betrayed by our own kind. There is truly no redemption for the wickedness of that canker-sored whore. Zarquon which is under the influence of that slimey wench, Llewella. And Arioch, which is led by the just as murderous Moridin. All these guilds serve the dark Gods and those that follow, give them an even greater foothold into our world. We must sever our ties with them and cast the demon-spawn out of the city. For the sake of all that is holy and all you love dearly, the time is soon approaching when a decision must be made. The cleansing power of the Children of the Light will cast a flame to all this wickedness and it shall burn brightly as we seek to return Sanom to the greater path. May humankind forever rule and may we cast the shadows and spectres off. ~Lothair Mantelar (Human) and father to the Children of the Light.
Sanom City Health officials warned that unless all the inhabitants of the city listen and co-operate in their new cleansing scheme, the city will soon be over run with vermin. They claim we have been seeing a steady increase in the rat population ever since the heatwave arrived. It seems the rats like the extra warm climate and as there doesn't seem to be an end in sight to the weather problem, it seems we need to take drastic measures to curtail the problem. Their proposal is a simple one, and a very effective one. If each of Sanom's inhabitants could do their part in slaying a few extra rats each day, this should over a short period of time, control the population. We would see a marked difference on our streets and people would be able to walk around without the threat of being bitten. This is especailly important for the children of the city, who are more at risk of infections from rat bites and scratches. Not to mention the trauma caused. Already food and drink establishments are complaining to the health officials that too many rats are hanging around their premises, not only at night, but in the daylight hours too. They say they are having to kill many rats each day and have even seen them appearing inside east their premises. This of course has the effect of scaring their customers and keeping them away and therefore keeping their profit margins down. This isn't only bad for the owner of the owners of the premises, but for the city as a whole. As the flow of money is very important to the survival of this fine city. It has also been reported that several of the citys residents have suffered varying degrees of injuries due to bites and scratches from these rodents and the medical centres have been rushed off their feet since it all started. So much so that they have had to take on extra staff in the way of local red cross workers to be able to cope with the extra workload it has caused. Staff leave has had to be cancelled so that there are enough staff to cover all the shifts. This combined with the red cross helpers, is helping somewhat to keep the medical centre open twenty four hours a day. But be warned, anyone thinking of visiting the centre should expect long delays between arriving and actually getting any treatment. This is because even with the extra staff, there is still not enough medical staff to cope adequately with the increase in visitors. City officials are, as this article goes to press, meeting to discuss a compensation programme for shop owners and victims of the attacks. This could prove to be a vary costly business for the City, and it will be almost certain that the City taxes will be raised to meet some of these costs. There will be no point complaining about it, it is an unfortunate situation, but a neccessary one. We were told that there is no other viable option to solve the problem. All we can do is hope the heatwave will be over quite soon and that the resident do indeed help to solve this problem by slaying rats when they see them. To this aim, anyone that wishes to slay the rats and doesn't have a suitable weapon with which to do this, can obtain one at the local charity shop. Arrangements have been make by the City for anyone who does not have a suitable slaying weapon, to be able to obtain one free of charge. This is a very generous offer on the part of the City. Also most food establishments in the City have agreed to pay the minimum price for any rats that are submitted by the slayers. Making it even more reason to help with the City's problem. The eateries say that rat meat is a cheap and popular meat with a lot of their regular customers and it would make sense to make use of the opportunity for cheap stocks. Rat meat is easily turned into many different and tasty dishes. If you can all remember back some time ago, we had Lets see if we can rid the city of these menaces that are plaguing us. Remember, this is your city, look after it.
Today an ungodly thing had happened!!! Little Jane, who lost her teddy near, has been killed by an unknown murderer. No one knows who this mysterios murderer is but Demolition is on the case as you read this article trying to igure out who our murderer is and where he can be found.
In select connoisseur circles, Samuels' Microbrewery is know for it's fine beers. But on Jonevar 14th it was broken into and a fermenter bin full of the liquid gold was STOLEN! 'A fermenter bin', says Samuel 'is a very heavy object when filled with my delicious beer. 'It would have taken a strong person to lift such an item and to move it' A logical suspect in the robbery would be a thief, of great skill to pick the lock of the strong door and to relock it again on their way out. It seems the thief wanted nothing more than the alcohol from the wooden planked brewery as nothing else seemed to be touched. Loyal drinkers of Samuels' Ale are re-assured that more beer is breweing as we speak, and nothing will stop the production of what is to be said, The Shattered World's finest beer. Citizen Samuel Reporting.
Gladia appointed as Magistrate Hear ye hear ye! Let is be known to all that Gladia has been appointed as Magistrate to this fair realm. Let us welcome her as she prepares to provide swift and fair justice to all! She was confirmed by Octcela and Dyskilian a few days ago. Let us hope that this will increase the already great efficiency of our courts. Signed, Signed, Skif
On Oct 3rd a phenomenom occured at the Sanom Sleeping Quarters which could have had lethal consenquences. Someone had cast a magic firewall over the exit from the Sleeping Quarters blocking the exit down into the Randy Goat. This had gotten the attention of several people and had attracted a healer into the Randy Goat, Electro to heal the injured parties. The strange thing about this firewall was it only burnt you one way, going up into the quarters, you were scorched, leaving you with charred skin. But on the way down, you were left reletivly unscathed. This soon got the attention of Llewella and Immortal Dredd. Lets praise the gods for helping keep us safe, and for Electro for healing the victims of this, blatant terrorist action. One can only ponder what calous acts this still at large criminal has planned for the future. Even out beds aren't safe anymore. This is Samuel, Signing off.
Early this week in Sanom City and the surrounding territories of the shattered realms, travellers and common folk alike reported strange and unexplained disappearances of personal equipment. Was this some form of strange new magic? Or some cruel prank on the citizens of sanom by the very Gods themselves? Mayhaps we will never know the exact answers to these questions, but eye-witnesses reported to the Sanom City Newspaper that the omnipotent, Immortal Dredd, or was it in fact Jolly old St Nicholas, handing out goodies and pandering to the hapless bleating's of some of Sanom's finest denizens at the central sanom water fountain. After numerous reports of disturbances and vanishing item's, the immortals investigated the incident, making enquiries before taking requests of lost items. The mortified citizens, were counselled by Immortal Dredd, before he attempted to manifest their lost possessions, some of them family heirlooms and significant personal material. He was heard to say after finally succumbing to the endless questions, "You have 15 seconds to tell me what you have lost, and I'll consider pandering to your incessant whining and replacing some of your gear. What's it gonna be?"; When asked for an official comment on these strange occurrences the advocate for the GODS, Immortal Trax had this to say: "We, (The Immortals) decided that Robin Hood had the right idea, so we just accumulated all the items we could and distributed them out to the poor and the needy. Next on the agenda is random distribution of properties".
"Be still!" whispered something in the darkness. It was an archon, leading a group of 10. Something emerged from the shadows, stepping into the moonlight. In a second it had flickered back and was no more. It was just enough time, however, to notice that it was a large archon with somewhat small horns, but a noticably large spike on its tail. "STOP! That's just the type of thing that will get us killed. We are close to the Draconians' land, and if we are spotted i assure you you'd better wish you died." said the leader. His name was Faro, a strong healthy archon of age 73. "Is little Faro scared of the little draconians?" came the answer. Just then, a scream pierced the air, accompanied by a blast of flame. The archons held their ground, ignoring the burns caused by the light, forming everywhere on their bodies. 6 draconians were surrounding them. "ATTACK!" yelled Faro, as he lowered his horns, reared up, and charged at a the nearest draconian. His horns killed the draconian instantly, going straight through the heart. He lashed with his tail and speared another draconian through the leg. The half-breds retreated into the night, and Faro, knowing that they could not match up to the combination of flying and breath-weapons, let them go. "Anyone hurt?" he yelled. 8 voices answered, all the same: large burns. The intense light had devastated them. "Who is not accounted for, we should have 10," he asked, "come to me." "Damatul," someone answered, "he was killed instantly by the first blast of fire." "Oh well," said Faro, "he deserved to die, the little bastard. And nobody tell anyone that i said that, or i'll slit your throat." Everyone knew that the two hated each other, but only a few knew just how much. Damatul was a popular archon, and his loathing would damage his reputation badly. "Lets head back," he yelled, and instantaneously 9 pairs of wings suddenly started beating, bearing them home. END OF SECTION 1
Welcome to the latest edition of the Sanom City Newspaper. A lot has happened in the town of Sanom and surrounding areas in the last few weeks. Debate rages over the new rules relating to player killing, with young and old players voicing their opinions alike. Whilst the rule still stands in its current form, word from above is that debate and suggestions on the matter are still welcome and being considered. This editor, having spoken to groups on both sides of the argument has heard many an argument for and against the new rules, but seen very few suggestions to find a middle ground. One such suggestion is the idea of a quest point limit, after which all players become "fair Game" for player killing. Exactly what that limit would be, 60, 100, would be open for discussion. It will be interesting to follow debate along these lines on the Players Board. Also in Sanom, strange and mysterious happenings in the 500 room of the fun house have been reported. Details are sketchy, but fantastical tales of players becoming Gods, Immortals becoming trainee wizards and players being labelled player killers and hunted down mercilessly abound. Not to mention accusations of Mad Gods, dictatorial owners and a mysterious new disease being termed maniacal 500 madness. Where is this madness leading? Are there any safe 500 havens any more? As the new moon phase approaches, all interest rests on the new alliances that will abound in Sanom. Will we see a Knight, Druid, Berserker revival? One thing seems certain, the Xarus, Javen alliance look strong and stable. Happy trails fellow Adventurers. Editor in Chief, Nura Nal.
Welcome readers to the latest edition of the Sanom City Times. A lot has happened since our last edition and I am very pleased to see a record number of submissions for this edition. Seems to be a real Roc flavour to this edition, with many of our younger readers discovering the joys and responsibilities that roc ownership entails. The 500 Report is back, heading up the Sports section, with all focus now shifting to the newly announced 500 Masters tournament. With the final draw decided, participants and spectators alike eagerly await the commencement of this innagural tournament. Immortal Trax, convenor of the tournament has stated publicly "500 is a game for skilled Masters. It is inconceivable that some sniveling mortal could beat even the lowliest Immortal at 500 let alone the creme de la creme of the 500 community. As such, I am announcing a purse of 500,000 gold coins if the winner of this tournament is a Mortal. Good luck plebs. You'll need it." Yes folks, you heard it right. 500,000 gold coins to the winner of the tournament, "if" they are a mortal of the Shattered Realms, and 15,000 gold coins to the winner if they are an immortal. No wonder citizen Ugworth has given up his day job and has turned pro, joining the elite - 500 Masters, pro tour. Good luck to all participants. This newspaper will be posting regular results from the tournament and talking with the participants as the tournament progresses. In other news, Sanom is without a Monarch, and has been so for some months now as the powers that be struggle to establish a new system for deciding who should ascend to supremacy. Details are still sketchty on the subject, but from all reports we should have a new Monarch in place sometime soon. And finally, we are pleased to announce the appointment of our newest Chief Constable, Sir Pharaik. We wish Sir Pharaik all the best in his endeavours to uphold the laws in sanom, let's hope he keeps his wits and his head about him whilst making the streets of Sanom a safer place to live. That's it for this editoin, get your submissions in for the next edition. We are paying top dollar for good articles. And remember, More News is Good News. Editor in Chief, Nura Nal.
Too often of late, we hear cries of "wtf" and "But I didn't do it!!" coming from the mouths of those who are foolish enough to attack the city guards. You may think I'm being a little harsh. You're right. Foolishness is when you attack the city guards without a weapon. If you wield a weapon, it should only be classed as raw stupidity. Perhaps thoughtlessness. Which brings me to my point. Lamentations of "I swear I didn't touch him" have emanated from the lips of fine, upstanding citizens. People who I am certain are more intelligent than to spontaneously attack a city guard or two for fun. Now, don't get me wrong. There are experienced players out there who frequently sport in a bit of city guard slaying. But you never hear such people exclaiming in protest that they have not attacked one of the guards. They have no reason to. This is mere speculation, but this thought has crossed my mind on more than one occasion. There is a guild, is there not, whose members are capable of hypnotizing and, to a certain degree, controlling, other players? So, hypothetically, would it not be possible for such a member to force another player to attack a city guard, collect the corpse, and give it to the bounty man for a tidy reward? Now, call me a conspiracy theorist, but there seems to have been a lot of players recently announcing that they most certainly did not attack a city guard, of late. Foolish players, or sinister guild threat? I'll leave that up to you to decide.
Until the recent appointment of Sir Pharaik to the position of constable, our fair city had descended into a world of depraved violence. We can hope that with Sir Pharaik's appointment this lawlessness will abate somewhat. During the period without a constable, you might well think it the realm of the magistrates to step up and take over some of the responsibilities of the Constable. Instead, however, some of them took part in the rampages, the mass-murdering, the sheer depravity, ignoring the law they swore to uphold when they took office. One magistrate recently went on a killing spree killing "at least 10" guards, or so she bragged after the event. When asked why she would do such a thing, she replied "[I] accidentally got into a little brawl with one of the guards...now I'm entertaining them by fleecing their equipment". This from a member of Sanom's legal department, those with the right to judge the rest of us. We now look to our new constable, Sir Pharaik, to end the crime in this city. He has made a good start with at least 20 new bounties placed on the various thieves that operate in the city. We can only hope that this will help to discourage some of the city's criminals. When asked about his appointment (the appointment was expected to have to wait till a new monarch was crowned), he refused to comment. Whether one of the contenders to the throne somehow appointed him, or if one of the gods stepped in to do something to stem the tide of crime, possibly as a direct result of the recent crime spree, is unknown. But surely, it is a long overdue appointment. Sir Malik, who was known to be seeking appointment was unavailable for comment, but surely will not be pleased to have been overlooked for the position. Ugnia of clan Ugworth
Welcome to the latest edition of the Sanom City Times. Hot off the press is the unbelievable demise of the former Queen, Ruler of Rebma, Lady Llewella ni Eigan. Reports are sketchy as to the true nature of her passing, but one expert was heard to say that it had all the symptoms of a classic case of Mad Cow Disease or MCD. All residents of Sanom are urged to stay in their homes, and stay well away from any suspicious looking livestock. Anyone experience the following symptoms is urged to report to the nearest clinic post haste - Lack of desire or emotion. Heart rate slowing to less than 20 beats per month. Feelings of sobering up. Disdain for authority. No sense of self worth or purpose. No energy. No drive. No desire to go on living in a god forsaken, bastardised world where the Sword used to rule supreme but now stands for little more than a trading commodity. A state of Apathy. If you are exhibiting any of these symptoms. May god have mercy on your soul. In other news, the demise of Lady Llewella has seen an amazing boom in the local real estate market with some 10 new properties being submitted for auction. Blasting into the Sanom real estate record books with an all time record purchase price for a Sanom City Hotel was Guild Leader Falstaff who is now the proud owner of the Randy Goat Hotel for the paltry sum of 3.1 million coins. Where will this reckless spending end? In other news, Guild Leader Cotillon has also met an untimely demise. Unfortunately, I am sad to say, it was at the hands of yours truly. I was minding my own business in the central sanom market, looking for a door for my new home, when Guild Leader Cotillon, completely unprovoked attacked me. Before I knew what was happening my finely honed Berserker skills reacted and in a fit of rage, I lopped Cotillon's head off. I am deeply saddened by this terrible event, and I can only surmise that the late Guild Leader must have been afflicted with the same Mad Cows Disease as that which had struck down the Lady Llewella. It is undoubtedly a time of change in Sanom, as Guild leaders positions become available, with Citizen Mouser taking the reigns of the Guild of Ke'ting, whilst the Guild of Chalanna Arroy still awaits the anointing of its new Grand Healer. Finally, the Sanom City Times is pleased to announce the crowning of the new monarch, Queen Shriek. May she rule with a fair but firm hand for the greater prosperity of Sanom. Long Live the Queen. Editor in Chief, Nura Nal.
SANOM - As is well known throughout the Realms, the Immortals may christen the street names of the City of Sanom in honour or remembrance of mortals who have truly made their mark on the Realms like no other. These streets to date in our glorious City are the Coldrock Promenade, Cormoran Road, Barrymore Alley, and - the newest of these - Llewella Laneway. The disappearance of the often feared, widely respected, and universally known Llewella ni Eigan goes unexplained; on a day like any other the former Queen relinquished all her holdings in this world and is now no more than a memory. The newly christened Llewella Laneway is sure to stand as a lasting tribute to one of the greatest individuals the Realms have ever seen.
A dangerous fierce golden dragon was let loose in Sanom City earlier today! The dragon caused chaos amongst the city guard and murdered Sirgog, a draconian berserker, whilst rampaging through the City. This must not be tolerated! All those who aided the dragon in any way must be punished most severely. It is without doubt that someone aided the creature. The persons responsible must be hunted down like the mangy dogs they are - and if the magistrates will not help the people do this, then the people must act on their own.
ALERT: AVOID ALL TROLLS AT ALL COSTS!! Intelligence indicates from watchtowers scattered around Shattered World that several huge armies of trolls are terrorizing the villages and plundering towns. These trolls are x5 stronger than the average troll, so even the most experienced fighter must take caution when engaging in combat. It is also known that their intelligence must have drastically increased, because they travel in groups of 5 or 6 per area, so it is impossible to attack them one at a time. Beware if you see 1 or 2 trolls, these may be a scouting force for a nearby army of trolls. Goblins, orcs, and dragons have also been known to ally themselves with trolls, so be careful when travelling outside of the borders of Sanom. We will keep you updated. --Divinegon
Salom is a daunting prospect for new comers. The air is filled with the sound of yelling voices and the stench of decay. Mangy rats, cats and dogs roam the streets freely and the corpses of the unlucky ones litter the streets. The twisting streets can be confusing and the shadows a mite scary for those with no skills, but there is also something inherently compelling about this city. The bustling life, the constant stream of voices, the multitude of shops and stalls and the squeaking rats, all fill a visitor's senses to overload. There is an atmosphere of latent energy permeating Salom that creates curious questions that hang in the air. Why are the gods yelling and why do they miss someone called Sarah. How is it possible to hear Death's voice without dying? Should a young human trust a tour offer from a high priest of the conclave? Is there more to life than killing rats? Salom is indeed a place of mystery for the new adventurer
Now, I'm not exactly a newbie, but I'm not rich either. I'm a very poor player who can barely afford anything, and I can't even find work at the butchers? What's the world coming to? The main way other than donating blood that I use to make money is killing animals all over the place, and the two animals that I CAN kill, the butcher won't buy. Now, that's why I think no-one explores this world anymore. Because unless you have many friends, it's highly unlikely that you'll succeed in Shattered World. If you are reading this, complain complain complain, and help me get good butchers for Shattered World again. Kep reporting.
Now, many people wonder why banks don't give interest. Now, here's a tip for the owners of banks all over Shattered World: Give interest and you'll suceed in getting business! That should have been a way to make money, as well as competing with other banks. What's the world coming to? Kep
Any adventurer who dwells in Sanom City when not out lopping the heads off of kobolds may no doubt have noticed a sudden lack of the unoccupied adventurer's favourite pastime: Booze. I sit here in my guild's halls, with nay a drip to soothe the ailment of sobriety. As any adventurer worth but a pint of his weight in combat would know, alcohol is good for what ails ya. A bruised and beaten warrior can roam about in a drunken stupor all night, ranting and raving such jibberish that can only be described as the Elan of the drunkard; and when he awakens next morn, he'll feel quite healthy once the hangover passes. Any such adventurer lacking the luxury of having access to a good healer will now have to try his hand at first aid, or do as I am, sitting down and patiently waiting for the natural healing process to do its thing. You may be thinking "Oh well I'll just sneak into Kantele's mansion and chug a barrel at her bar!" well, sorry friend, I just chugged it empty myself! That's right, theres no Fangorn Beer, no Ambrosia Wine, no Pale Ale. The only booze remaining in the city at present is the mixture that is equally expensive as it is poisonously alcoholic, "Llewella's horny goat weed Blaster", which as I assume by its name, is the Randy Goat's own special concoction. If you can down the blaster, then I commend you on your enduring tolerance, but for the rest of us Sanom dwellers, it's a journey to Engelwood's Barf And Scarf Restaurant until the taverns in Sanom City roll in the booze again.
None other than our own guards, who we speak to almost every day in the city of Sanom, are currently under investigation for negligence. We have been given reports from Johanna the gypsie girl (Chalana Arroy) that guards congregated at the Common Market practically drooling over her as thieves and murderers roamed the streets after freshly committing multiple crimes. One of these murderers being the sicko - or perhaps sickos who slaughter helpless rats, cats, and dogs and leave them on the streets with their intestines sprawled throughout the road. I commend citizens to take this lowly peasants advice and see this investigation through to the end. This is not the first time complaints have been made against the guards, as some of you may clearly remember. There was the severe case of Magnomious vs. Guards of Sanom, where Magnomious had claimed that he was being blackmailed into attempting to kill the Sage that is seen roaming around the Common market. Thankfully magnomious was not successful in his attempt and claimed the guards threatened to kill him in three days unless he would murder the sage. Surprisingly the information on the case got lost in procedure and seems to have been covered up ever since. It seems history is repeating itself once again. So once again I beg of you citizens and lords to look into this, as we cannot allow the guards to be above the law themselves. After all if we have police, then who will police the police?
Trolls, trolls, trolls. could there be a larger blight upon the world then these horrid creatures. They stand around at the gates of this fine city and pick on poor newbies. They seem to breed faster then the rats and smell twice as bad. Many times I have been minding my own business sitting inside of my Evil pentagram drawn with blood and some dung eating troll wanders in and rips my arm off, there are only so many times I can get it reattached. Its time to call for a general crackdown of these destructive creatures. May Arioch consume all of their grim covered souls. Bhaal, Demon Fodder
Report live from Central Market. A newbie, Ciat, was spotted last week selling rat burgers fresh off of the street. I had to get a closer look to verify. Sure enough this young Soulseeker possessed the corpses of alley rats and made them into burgers. I wondered why bother with such pesky critters. I just had to try one to see what all the commotion was about. These burgers were the best I've even eaten. It is hard to believe they are rats!
The Sanom Sage, that up until today well respected individual, was seen killing guards and defending criminals, earlier today. A lowly thief was seen to blatantly attack one of our city guards, in front of the sage. However, instead of standing idly by, let alone coming to the guards aide, with one hammering blow, the sage took out the guard! As his last words left his mouth, yelling for his comrades for help, he was struck down, only to have his corpse eaten by a rat. In related news, trolls have been seen strolling down the streets of sanom recently. Apparently the respect for the law of Sanom City is gone. This may have something to do with the lack of a city constable. Criminals have the reign of the city - but such is the consequence of having a queen of thieves. Ugnia of clan Ugworth Editor in Chief
On my quest to return the great sword Orcslayer to Leo the Archwizard, I happened by his abode. To my shock and horror, not one, but TWO, Leo the Archwizards stood before me! What terrible outpouring of magical wrath could result in such dubious happenstance? Could, perhaps, an expiriment of great and calamitous portent have been failed, causing the creation of another Leo the Archwizard? Does he have, perhaps, a long-lost brother? I took it upon myself to investigate this occurance. I attempted to ask Leo the Archwizard(s) what happened; he responded that the Executioner's Sword was the most fearsome weapon in the realm. Was, perhaps, that the cause? Later, he admitted that "the Sanom City fountain was enchanted by Leprechauns. Had he been skinny-dipping in the fountain (perhaps to restore his lost youth) when the Sage, enraged by the fury of Chalana Arroy at having a fountain desecrated, charged in and, in one fell swoop, cleaved the Archwizard in twain with the Executioner's Sword? Did he regenerate into two Leo the Archwizards, powered by the Fountain? This calamitous event should be looked into. Surely, surely, there may be something afoot.
Guards have recieved several reports of a guest who has gone missing. Mary of the Brothel Bar says that he came around during the previous week looking for work tending bar. She says he was very nice and had plenty of experience, and that she had been expecting him back days ago. Mary went into depth about how buisiness was up and desperately wanted him to start right away. A regular at the bar says he did not meet the guy, but highly recommended the elephant rump. Another local, Miss Jane was very upset. She says she talked to the guest for a long time and scared something had happened to him. She saw him leave down towards the sewer saying he was after some rat corpses to earn a few coins to tide him over. She says she tried to warn him about some of the dangers in the sewers but he did not seem concered. Miss Jane seems sure that the Boogey Man has something to do with the disappearance. She also mentioned that the Boogey Man had stolen her Teddy! Other locals think he may have run into the Sewer Rat King. The Boogey Man refused to comment. Guards say they have several leads they are looking into, and are staying on top of the matter. They say if a law has been broken, that they will be punished to the full extent of the law. Scourge
The Sanom Zoo is a world class zoo that features a variety of exhibits. There is an insect, centipede, marine, and crab exhibit. Troll, rat, and bunny enclosure.And last but not least the repitle house. At the Sanom Zoo there is something for everyone. If you have some spare time, the Zoo keeper can also do with some help. Just beware of getting close to the trolls. The Zoo is also constructing a new site, I wonder what it will be. Reports say, however, that this exhibit has been under construction for as long as anyone can remember. Yours faithfully, Morlock
We have had many reports lately of citizens spotting the mysterious Boogey Man. One even claims that he took her teddy bear. Recently I caught up to this young lady and asked her if it was true. Unfortunately all I could get out of her, was "He stole my teddy bear". No one for certain has seen the Boogey Man besides her and yet she still claims he "stole her teddy bear". Many new adventurers have been gathering to find this mysterious Boogey Man to retrieve the girls teddy bear. Some have even claimed to give her her teddy bear back, yet she still says he stole it. The mystery of the Boogey Man has not yet been solved and may never will be, yet the poor girl will still forever lose her teddy bear to him.
I am wandering around the palace seeing if I can find anything useful. I come across the kitchen. Hmmm, I start to fell hungry. But everything is locked up so I head down to the cellar. I search around and find a secret passage. My curiousness overcomes my hunger so I head down the passage. To the south I see a small dirty room. This is odd. What is this for. I step closer to the room, then... I'm dead. I've been killed by a priest. What the? So I head back to the Endoplasmatorium to resoul. Oh no, I've lost everything. Although not much, it means a lot to a newbie like myself. Maybe I can quickly loot my corpse and hightail it out of there. So I head back to the small dark room... I die again. Oh no what am I going to do. "Help me!!" I cry. Hexyn comes to my rescue. We go to the drain in the common market. Wow, I didn't even take note of this drain before. We enter the drain and go to a room which I assume is south of the small dirty room. Then somehow which I still don't know, Hexyn gets my stuff. "Cool, thanks Hexyn". Hexyn is so nice to me. That priest certainly kicked my ass. There was no chance I could get my stuff back without help. Now the only question is, what on earth is a priest doing in a small dirty room in the Palace's kitchen cellar? I guess I will never know. If you know come tell me sometime over a beer in Randy Goat Restaurant. By your friendly human, Grom.
File last modified: Mon Oct 16 15:27:36 2006